Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
