Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize