We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
