Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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