You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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