Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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