I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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