I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
