I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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