i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize