Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
