I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
