it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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