No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
