oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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