How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
