Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Randomize
