It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
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