My hair reeks of homosexuality.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
