do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize