i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
