ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
