Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
i now understand why vodka
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
