I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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