Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
