It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
