and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize