Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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