i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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