Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Who died my cat blue again?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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