oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
