How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
