K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
