Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
