It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Randomize
