meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
