Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
