you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize