I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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