i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize