from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
