Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
