It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
