She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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