i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
