Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
