I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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