there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize