You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
