You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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