you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
