I got her a Nickelback box set.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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