Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
