Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
