ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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