Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
