...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
