yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
