his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
please don't ironically join a cult
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