I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
