I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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