If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
