Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
