And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize
