I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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