He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
