some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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