I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
