We should be called the Road Head Warriors
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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